This 2005 mediocre horror movie is a pretty bland mess, but I did get a lot out of it in spite of itself. 

This film stars Michael Keaton as a recent widower who becomes obsessed with contacting his wife through the white noise often recorded on TV static. For years voices and strings sounds have been recorded through the white noise of untuned radios and TV sets, some believe that these sounds are the dead trying to communicate.  

I’m going to start this review by sharing why I watched this. It is not a legendary horror movie. It is not genre defining, nor is it a hidden gem. It is however a movie that I remember seeing the trailer for back when I was young and hated horror movies. 

As a 15 year old I saw the trailer and thought, why is Batman in a crappy horror movie about TV static?

I also thought, horror movies are so stupid. This movie is going to try to make me afraid of my TV, yeah right. 

Who would ever want to see this crap? 

Well I answered the third question…

When I saw this title pop up only Netflix page, I was immediately transported back to that time. I remembered those thoughts and feelings, and I knew I should give this movie a look and see what it was all about. I also needed something lighter than the Australian horror I’ve been steeped in so far. 

Michael Keaton stars as Johnathan Rivers (this was made back in the day that every character had to have a really cool name.) He’s a very successful architect, whose pregnant wife is killed in a tragic car accident. Deep in his grief, he is approached by Raymond, played by Ian McNeice. Raymond has been helping people communicate with their dead loved ones through VHS recordings of TV static. Sometimes voices and even images come through in the white noise of the TV static. 

Johnathan Rivers soon becomes obsessed with communicating with his wife, dedicating all his time and effort to finding a way to talk to her. He gets more than he bargained for though when a series of increasing bizarre events start to occur and the plot completely falls off the rails. 

A couple things, Michael Keaton is a delight. He is such. Great actor. He makes such strange and specific choices. When he discovers his wife is pregnant, he stands still, looks pointedly out the window then claps his hands abruptly and shouts “YES!” It’s difficult to describe, but it’s so weird and it’s so him. 

He brings depth to this character that is paper thin. As written Johnathan Rivers is just a cool name and an ill defined mission. Why does he need to talk to his wife so badly? The movie never says, but Keaton communicates a deep seated need that we can feel. 

The next thing that I really liked about the film was being able to spend time in 2005. I loved getting to live in a time period before ubiquitous cell phones and constant social media distractions. I loved seeing how thick the TV’s used to be and seeing VHS tapes play a major plot point. It was nostalgic fun to live in a world in which you weren’t in constant connection with everyone and a man could stare at a TV in peace and try to talk to his dead wife. 

The last positive thing I have to say is that this film made me miss the way movies used to be framed and shot. Even mediocre horror movies were lit with intention. They had dark shadows and vivid colors instead of the murky browns and muddy black shadows we have today. This movie is infinitely more beautiful than any Netflix original movie coming out today. The framing was also fun. Wide shots were held for impact. We get to see the actors interact in single takes rather than the cutting between close ups that we have these days. The images in this movie were made for the big screen not the phone screen. I miss that. 

All those positives aside this movie is bad. Watching it feels like stumbling your way through studio notes. “He should have a dead wife that he’s trying to talk to.” But there should still be a hot woman that could maybe get with.” “It should be more like the Ring!” “He should try to save people before they die!” There should be a serial killer!” “There should be demons!” “He should have a son that he ignores!”

The story takes so many meandering turns that it feels like a new movie every twenty minutes. I sympathize with the writer who had a story in mind and had to mutilate it in order too accommodate every executives desires. The movie is the definition of disjointed and never comes together in a satisfying way. 

Is is also not scary at all. Well it might be scary to the younger generations who are afraid of answering phone calls, there are a lot of phone calls in this movie. But the scares feel cheap and hokey. They demonic nemeses that appear in the second act are never explained or developed and look so bad that they are laughable instead of menacing. 

The movie is trying to hard to be The Ring which came out a few years earlier and was actually quite brilliant. However without a coherent story, a basic mythology, and a menacing sense of dread this movie is dead on arrival. 

That said, I didn’t have a bad time watching it. I had a fun nostalgic ride through 2005, a time when life seemed simpler. I got to reconnect with that 15 year old version of me who would’ve hated my horror movie tradition. 

Would I recommend it? No. Is it my cup of tea? Kind of 

C